Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Because Ikea wasn't enough for her

Secret: Recently I've been feeling particularly vulnerable/single and thus have been curtailing my blog viewing as a way of incubating myself from all the Internet gloss that most days seems so unattainable. That's why you must understand that it was totally by accident that I stumbled onto The Swede Records. I honestly thought it was going to be a blog about about indie Norwegian rock bands or something equally obscure. But of course it's not. It's totally another blog about a totally cute girl (Jenny May) and her totally amazing marriage to her totally cute (and very Swedish) husband.

**It's worth mentioning that I totally have a thing for the Swedes too. But really what girl doesn't like a tall, friendly,blond haired, blue eyed man? I've only dated one and now he's happily married and living in France while playing for the national lacrosse team. His life may sound idyllic but I'm sure he's totally misses me too. :/

Anyhoo, like she could feel my insecure eyes lurking, yesterday Jenny May posted this lil' surprise:

"This is what I came home to last night after my spin class..."

I get it Jenny May, your life is happier/prettier/better than mine!!! Not only do you have a totally thoughtful/perfect husband, you're also going to exercise classes at night!!! Thanks to you and your flickering lights, I now really regret letting my Swede (and every other man I've ever dated) go. Maybe if I had stuck with one of them, I wouldn't have spent my Monday night drowning my sorrows in an extra large bottle of Hefeweizen and then somehow losing my blackberry. I swear the two activities were unrelated.

But please Jenny May, don't mind me. Go back to your beautiful Nordic love making. I'll just be over here creating my profile on and cutting myself.


  1. i'm in love with your blog. because, yes. i read 100+ every day and most of them make me feel remarkably inferior. and you have me laughing very, very hard.

  2. Okay, but don't you think it's weird that she came home, saw all the candles and -- instead of tearing of the Swede's tasteful knit sweater and tailored pants -- she was like, "Wait, wait, I need to take a picture for my blog"? Or did she take the pictures after? Is the Swede lying naked in the shadows in one of these pictures?

    Sometimes I hate all blogs. Except yours!

    (P.S. I will have tons more free time starting next week. Our second date is imminent!)

  3. I was JUST going to write what Anjali said. I would MUCH rather be in a relationship with a nice, hip Jewish chick in LA than a girl who takes pictures of that shit so she can show everyone how great her life is.
    barf barf barf. Barf everywhere. BARFFFFFF.

  4. Thanks Laurenne. When I first read your comment I was like, who's this hip Jewish chick? (I'm only a halfsie.)

    And seriously Anjali, if she was going to take these pictures, why didn't she include any of the naked Swede? Now that's a blog I would read everyday.

  5. I can hear your tone coming right through...perhaps you could crash a choir trip to somewhere fab and hit up some sweds post our awkward years :)

  6. Love it love it love it. It's very unromantic to broadcast your romance, no?

  7. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL. Love this post and the comments. Thought the same thing Anj...